Just Getting By

Yesterday we had a pretty good meeting (and had a nice time afterwards at Bro. Sean & Sis. Marisela's). Bro. Lee preached about not holding back and giving your all to living the Faith. Bro. Bill got up and talked about partaking of the Lord's supper and how we should be partaking of the Lord's body and blood everyday. Bro. Sean got up got real blunt with all of us. I'm glad he did too. I know that at least for me it was something that I needed to hear put that bluntly.

He said he remembered when he lived here before and the young kids spent a lot of time together. They were always looking for reasons to spend time together. He said they didn't get to spend everyday together, but they always wanted to. He said how the brethren here really don't spend a lot of time together. We all go about our own lives. It's really easy to just stay home and relax. He was basically saying that we needed to have such a desire to be together that we would find ways to make it happen.

I know that Matt and I fail in this also. We do have people over for dinner fairly often (though we've only just recently picked back up on that). And most Sunday's we spend with the brethren, but it's been a looooong time since we've just decided to go visit somebody some evening.

Another thing that was mentioned a couple times was fasting. It's been quite awhile since I've fasted. Sometimes I see how I struggle in certain areas and think about how I ought to fast about it, but I don't do it. I really want to try to fast more often.

I've also been examining myself and today I've really looked in the mirror and seen one especially glaring fault. I do what I have to do to get by. I don't put all my effort into living the faith or even taking care of my family. I was visiting with the brethren yesterday and told them how my sister Wenona is a really especially good mother, and Alicia is a really hard worker and I'm just mediocre at both things. I know I could do better at living the faith, keeping my house clean, taking care of my children, being a wife; really at everything, but mostly I just do what I feel like I need to do so that I can just squeak by with the minimal amount of effort, so that people will still think well of me. I know some of you may be thinking that this can't possible be that bad, but it really is and I need prayers that I can put my best effort forth. I can remember in school I wasn't very popular with the kids; so I liked to be on the good side of the teachers. I did well enough at school so that my teachers would think well of me, but I didn't work my hardest. I really think I could have gotten straight A's if I'd tried my best, but I didn't. Today I have really seen how this is how I live my whole life. It's just horrible! I really need prayers that I can overcome my slothful nature and do my best at all I do. I know that my life and that of my family and those around me would be better if I put forth more of an effort.

Before Bro. Lee and Sis. Cherrie moved here he received a prophesy. Even though it was for him I believe it was something the whole assembly here needed to hear. I don't remember all of it, but I do remember that it said that the truth would be preached in this part and we would be a haven for the brethren. I think this is a wonderful promise, but I can see where if we don't all put forth our best efforts God's plan for this assembly could fail. I really, really, really want to do my part, and not Just Get By; because really just getting by is really not getting by at all.